While we will not always understand the ways of God now, He will ultimately prove Himself worthy of our faith and praise now. In part 9 of Majoring on the Minors: Key Themes in the Minor Prophets, Pastor Dan Cox reads from Habakkuk 1 – 3.
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Who Reads What Newspapers?
1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.
3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country.
4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but
don’t really understand the Washington Post. They do, however, like their
statistics shown in pie chart format.
5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn’t mind running the
country, if they could spare the time, and if they didn’t have to leave LA to
do it.
6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and
they did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.
7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren’t too sure who’s running
the country, and don’t really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.
8. The New York Post is read by people who don’t care who’s running the
country, as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while
intoxicated.
9. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren’t sure there is a
country or that anyone is running it; but whoever it is, they oppose all that
they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped
minority feminist atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from ANY
country or galaxy, as long as they are democrats.
10. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country but need
the baseball scores.
11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery
store.
Received from GCFL
God will show Himself just in the judgment of all sin and gracious in great blessing upon His people. In part 8 of Majoring on the Minors: Key Themes in the Minor Prophets, Pastor Dan Cox reads from Zephaniah 1 – 3.
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The following are a sampling of REAL answers
received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation’s
driving school.
Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: What for? He can’t see my license plate.
Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same
time?
A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying,
“Guns don’t kill people. I do.”
Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.
Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
A: I’d probably lose my buzz a lot faster.
Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive
lawfully?
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.
Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
A: Make eye contact and wave “hello” if he/she is cute.
Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing
yellow traffic light?
A: The color.
Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.
Received from GCFL
Want to bring focus to your life? Do what Jesus did. Go home, love your family, and take care of business! Your first mission field is under your roof. What makes you think they’ll believe you overseas if they don’t believe you across the hall?
But Max, I’m ready to do great things for God. Good, do them at work. Be a good employee. Show up on time with a good attitude. Don’t complain or grumble. Do as Colossians 3:23 says, “Work as if you were doing it for the Lord, not for people.”
Why don’t you take a few moments and evaluate your direction? Ask yourself, “Am I serving God now?” Regardless of what has controlled you in the past—it’s never too late to get your life on course!
The love of Jesus is greater than our failure. In part 3 of Lessons From The Land, Pastor Dan Cox reads from John 21.
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