Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Sherwood
Sherwood who?
Sherwood like to be your valentine!

Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine’s Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts.

Q: Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?
A: No, but they had an apple.

Do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day?
Sure, they’re very scent-imental!

What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine’s Day?
Ughs and kisses!

What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine’s Day?
Hugs and quiches!

What do farmers give their wives on Valentine’s Day?
Hogs and kisses!

Received from GCFL

About 90 fifth-graders piled into the airliner I was flying, on their way home from a school trip. Once we were in the air, and the crew began serving drinks, I could hear them pleading with the children to settle down and let the other passengers get some sleep.

No amount of reasoning seemed to help, until I thought of the solution that actually worked. I picked up the PA mike in the cockpit and announced, “Children, this is the captain speaking. Don’t make me stop this airplane and come back there!”

Received from GCFL

You don’t have a soul.  You are a Soul.  You have a body.
– C. S. Lewis

Suppose you were to stand on a stage while a film of every secret and selfish moment of your life was projected on the screen behind you? Would you not scream for the heavens to have mercy? And would you not feel just a fraction of what Christ felt on the cross? The icy displeasure of a sin-hating God?

The Bible says Christ carried all our sins in his body. See Christ on the cross? That’s a gossiper hanging there. See Jesus? Embezzler….liar…bigot. Hold it, Max! Don’t you lump Christ with those evildoers. I didn’t. HE did. More than place his name in the same sentence, he placed himself in their place. And yours! With hands nailed open, he invited God, Treat me as you would them.

And God did. “My God, my God, why did you abandon me?” (Matthew 27:46). Why did Christ scream those words? It’s simple–so you will never have to!