Went over to the local Bass Pro Shop to get a 9mm for home protection.

When I was ready to pay for the gun and ammo, the cashier said, “Strip down, facing me.” Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about the gun control wackos running amok, I did just as she had instructed. When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card reader!

I’ve been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.

They need to make their instructions to Seniors a little clearer.  I still don’t think I looked that bad.

I challenge you to shift the focus of your prayer.  Don’t spend a lot of time describing your mountain to the Lord.  He knows what it is.  Instead, focus your attention on the mountain mover—His glory, power and faithfulness.

–Bill Hybels

Trust God’s love. His perfect love.  Don’t fear He will discover your past.  He already has.  Don’t fear disappointing Him in the future.  He can show you the chapter in which you will.  With perfect knowledge of the past and perfect vision of the future, He loves you perfectly in spite of both.

–Max Lucado

A person checks into a hotel for the first time in his life and goes up
to his room. Five minutes later, he calls the desk and says, “You’ve
given me
a room with no exit. How do I leave?”

The desk clerk says, “Sir, that’s absurd. Have you looked for the door?”

The person says, “Well, there’s one door that leads to the bathroom.
There’s a second door that goes into the closet. And there’s a door I
haven’t
tried, but it has a ‘do not disturb’ sign on it.”

Received from GCFL