Father to son after exam: “Let me see your report card.”

Son: “My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.”

Received from GCFL

A young man came up to me at the end of my Sunday School class and asked me some questions.  "I can understand how ‘God blesses me’, but how can I ‘Bless God’?“  What does it mean when we sing, ‘Bless the Lord, O My Soul?’”

I asked him, “Do you have any children?”

“Yes,” he replied, “I have a boy who is six and a girl who is five.”

I asked, “At Christmas time, do they ever give you a present?”

“Sure,” he replied.

“Where do they get the money,” I asked.

“Well, I give it to them,” he chuckled.

“That’s exactly it,” I said, “You pay for the Christmas presents your children give you.  You’re so glad when they’re talking about it with their mother.  They’re whispering secrets. They’re excited that they are going to surprise daddy.  Then, on Christmas morning, they come and say, ‘Daddy, here is a blessing for you.’  It ultimately came from you, but it was a blessing because it came back with their love.”

When we sing, “Bless the Lord, O My Soul”, we are praising Him with the blessings He puts in our lives.

as seen in Cup O’Cheer

Our traditional Thanksgiving Forecast. Have a happy Thanksgiving! – Rick & Laura

THANKSGIVING OUTLOOK by Elliot Abrams, excerpted from the book, “Weather Prognosticators and the Media: Fallacies, Facts, and Fun in Forecasting,” by Norm MacDonald

Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an afternoon high near 190 F. The kitchen will turn hot and humid, and if you bother the cook, be ready for a severe squall or cold shoulder.

During the late afternoon and evening, the cold front of a knife will slice through the turkey, causing an accumulation of one to two inches on plates. Mashed potatoes will drift across one side while cranberry sauce creates slippery spots on the other. Please pass the gravy.

A weight watch and indigestion warning have been issued for the entire area, with increased stuffiness around the beltway. During the evening, the turkey will diminish and taper off to leftovers, dropping to a low of 34 F in the refrigerator.

Looking ahead to Friday and Saturday, high pressure to eat sandwiches will be established. Flurries of leftovers can be expected both days with a 50 percent chance of scattered soup late in the day. We expect a warming trend where soup develops. By early next week, eating pressure will be low as the only wish left will be the bone.

Received from GCFL

While waiting at the veterinarian’s office, I overheard two women chatting about their dogs.

“What’s your dog’s name?” asked the first woman.

“Well, we used to call her Pork Chop,” answered the second lady. “But after the vet bills we’ve had for her, we now call her Filet Mignon.”

Received from GCFL