When my son was about 4 years old, we were driving down
the road. I took a drink of my coffee, and the lid came off and spilled
all over me. I mumbled
a little bit, and pulled over to wipe up the mess.

My son rolled his eyes, shook his finger at me and said, “That is exactly why you are NOT supposed to drink and drive!”

Received from Da Mouse Tracks.

When my son was about 4 years old, we were driving down
the road. I took a drink of my coffee, and the lid came off and spilled
all over me. I mumbled
a little bit, and pulled over to wipe up the mess.

My son rolled his eyes, shook his finger at me and said, “That is exactly why you are NOT supposed to drink and drive!”

Received from GCFL 

A mechanic was working under a car and some brake fluid dripped into his mouth.

“Wow! That stuff isn’t too bad tasting,” he thought.

The next day, he told his buddy about tasting the brake fluid. “It was
pretty good, really. I think I’ll ave a little more today.”

His friend was a little concerned, but didn’t say anything.

The next day, “Hey, I drank a whole glass of brake fluid. Great stuff! I’m going to have more.”

A few days later, he was up to a bottle a day.

“You know,” said his buddy, “that brake fluid is poison and really bad for you. You better cut out drinking that stuff.”

“Hey, no problem. I can stop any time!”

Received from GCFL

“This house,” said the real estate salesman, “has both
its good points and its bad points. To show you I’m honest, I’m going to
tell you about both.
The disadvantages are that there is a chemical plant one block south and
a stockyard one block north.”

“What are the advantages?” inquired the prospective buyer.

“The advantage is that you can always tell which way the wind is blowing.”

Received from GCFL