END OF THE WORLD HEADLINES

When the end of the world arrives how will the media report it?

• USA Today: WE’RE DEAD
• The Wall Street Journal: DOW JONES PLUMMETS AS WORLD ENDS
• National Enquirer: JON AND KATE TOGETHER AGAIN
• Microsoft Systems Journal: APPLE LOSES MARKET SHARE
• Victoria’s Secret Catalog: OUR FINAL SALE
• Sports Illustrated: GAME OVER
• Wired: THE LAST NEW THING
• Rolling Stone: THE GRATEFUL DEAD REUNION TOUR
• Readers Digest: ‘BYE
• Discover Magazine: HOW WILL THE EXTINCTION OF ALL LIFE AS WE KNOW IT AFFECT THE WAY WE VIEW THE COSMOS?
• Lady’s Home Journal: LOSE 10 LBS BY JUDGMENT DAY WITH OUR NEW “ARMAGEDDON” DIET!
• America Online: SYSTEM TEMPORARILY DOWN. TRY CALLING BACK IN 15 MINUTES.
• Inc. magazine: TEN WAYS YOU CAN PROFIT FROM THE APOCALYPSE
• TIME magazine: RENEW YOUR SUBSCRIPTION FOR ETERNITY

 As seen in Cup O’ Cheer

Habitat for Humanity of McHenry County will be holding a County Wide Garage Sale on Saturday, June 4, 2011, 8 am – 4 pm, with set up at 7 am, RAIN or SHINE.  The focus and hope is to raise funds, enabling Habitat to continue providing affordable housing for low-income families in McHenry County, and continuing A Brush with Kindness Program which performs house repairs and yard clean-ups for low-income families in McHenry County who are struggling to maintain their homes.   

Gather your garage sale items NOW for the 1^st Annual County Wide Garage Sale to benefit YOU and Habitat for Humanity.  The event will be held in the parking lot of The Church of the Holy Apostles, 5211 Bull Valley Rd., McHenry.

Purchase your booth spaces online at: www.habitatmchenry.org.  Booth fees: $10 for 1 space, $15 for 2 spaces, $20 or 3 spaces, with additional spaces at $5 each.

Saleable items in good condition may be donated to Habitat’s booth on the day of the event to further benefit Habitat for Humanity.  See map (on website) for donation location drop-off during sale hours, on June 4 only.

If you would like more information regarding the County Wide Garage Sale, or information regarding volunteering for or donating to Habitat for Humanity of McHenry County, visit www.habitatmchenry.org or call 815-759-9002.

The Centurion
at the Foot of the Cross

by Max Lucado

The day began as had a hundred others—dreadfully. It was bad enough to be in Judea, but it was hell to spend hot afternoons on a rocky hill supervising the death of pickpockets and rabble-rousers. Half the crowd taunted, half cried. The soldiers griped. The priests bossed. It was a thankless job in a strange land. He was ready for the day to be over before it began.

He was curious at the attention given to the flatfooted peasant. He smiled as he read the sign that would go on the cross. The condemned looked like anything but a king. His face was lumpy and bruised. His back arched slightly and his eyes faced downward. “Some harmless hick,” mused the centurion. “What could he have done?”

Then Jesus raised his head. He wasn’t angry. He wasn’t uneasy. His eyes were strangely calm as they stared from behind the bloody mask. He looked at those who knew him—moving deliberately from face to face as if he had a word for each.

For just a moment he looked at the centurion—for a second the Roman looked into the purest eyes he’d ever seen. He didn’t know what the look meant. But the look made him swallow and his stomach feel empty. As he watched the soldier grab the Nazarene and yank him to the ground, something told him this was not going to be a normal day.

As the hours wore on, the centurion found himself looking more and more at the one on the center cross. He didn’t know what to do with the Nazarene’s silence. He didn’t know what to do with his kindness.

But most of all, he was perplexed by the darkness. He didn’t know what to do with the black sky in midafternoon. No one could explain it.… No one even tried. One minute the sun, the next the darkness. One minute the heat, the next a chilly breeze. Even the priests were silenced.

For a long while the centurion sat on a rock and stared at the three silhouetted figures. Their heads were limp, occasionally rolling from side to side. The jeering was silent … eerily silent. Those who had wept, now waited.

Suddenly the center head ceased to bob. It yanked itself erect. Its eyes opened in a flash of white. A roar sliced the silence. “It is finished.” (John 19:30 NIV) It wasn’t a yell. It wasn’t a scream. It was a roar … a lion’s roar. From what world that roar came the centurion didn’t know, but he knew it wasn’t this one.

The centurion stood up from the rock and took a few paces toward the Nazarene. As he got closer, he could tell that Jesus was staring into the sky. There was something in his eyes that the soldier had to see. But after only a few steps, he fell. He stood and fell again. The ground was shaking, gently at first and now violently. He tried once more to walk and was able to take a few steps and then fall … at the foot of the cross.

He looked up into the face of this one near death. The King looked down at the crusty old centurion. Jesus’ hands were fastened; they couldn’t reach out. His feet were nailed to timber; they couldn’t walk toward him. His head was heavy with pain; he could scarcely move it. But his eyes … they were afire.

They were unquenchable. They were the eyes of God.

Perhaps that is what made the centurion say what he said. He saw the eyes of God. He saw the same eyes that had been seen by a near-naked adulteress in Jerusalem, a friendless divorcée in Samaria, and a four-day-dead Lazarus in a cemetery. The same eyes that didn’t close upon seeing man’s futility, didn’t turn away at man’s failure, and didn’t wince upon witnessing man’s death.

“It’s all right,” God’s eyes said. “I’ve seen the storms and it’s still all right.”

The centurion’s convictions began to flow together like rivers. “This was no carpenter,” he spoke under his breath. “This was no peasant. This was no normal man.”

He stood and looked around at the rocks that had fallen and the sky that had blackened. He turned and stared at the soldiers as they stared at Jesus with frozen faces. He turned and watched as the eyes of Jesus lifted and looked toward home. He listened as the parched lips parted and the swollen tongue spoke for the last time.

“Father, into your hands I entrust my spirit” (Luke 23:46 NIV).

Had the centurion not said it, the soldiers would have. Had the centurion not said it, the rocks would have—as would have the angels, the stars, even the demons. But he did say it. It fell to a nameless foreigner to state what they all knew.

“Surely this man was the Son of God.” (Matthew 27:54 NIV)

NEW Gift Book! This story from:
This is Love – The Extraordinary Story of Jesus
Copyright (Thomas Nelson, 2011) Max Lucado

I received this from a dear friend in North Carolina who has Stage IV cancer. I don’t think she wrote this, but she has a wonderful attitude about her sufferings.I hope this encourages you.

I prayed to the Lord for my troubles to cease,

But instead of departing, they seemed to increase.

Each day found new problems I’d not faced before,

And so my depression just grew more and more.

I begged and I pleaded, “Lord, please let me die!

If you can’t ease my pain, at least tell me why.”

The Lord said, “My dear child, I love you so much!

And I could have erased all those tears with one single touch.

“But I wanted to teach you to cling to My hand,

And trust Me for things you cannot understand.

I wanted to show you that when things go wrong,

My strength in your weakness will make you grow strong.

“You’ve suffered because you were chosen to be

A light for the lost, and a witness for Me.

As you travel the pathway I’ve laid out for you,

You will meet many hearts that are suffering too.

“And because you have been there, and know what they feel,

You can show them My love, and can help them to heal.” 

‘Twas then that I wept, as I fell on my knees,

And I gave thanks to God for not granting my pleas.

“For had I not suffered, and felt such despair,

How could I have known the extent of His care?

Oh, Lord, make me worthy to share Your great love,

And help hurting souls reach Your Heaven above.”

 2 Corinthians 1:3 & 4 … “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”

“Father, Forgive Them”

by Max Lucado

The dialogue that Friday morning was bitter.

From the onlookers, “Come down from the cross if you are the Son of God!”

From the religious leaders, “He saved others but he can’t save himself.”

From the soldiers, “If you are the king of the Jews, save yourself.”

Bitter words. Acidic with sarcasm. Hateful. Irreverent. Wasn’t it enough that he was being crucified? Wasn’t it enough that he was being shamed as a criminal? Were the nails insufficient? Was the crown of thorns too soft? Had the flogging been too short?

For some, apparently so…

Of all the scenes around the cross, this one angers me the most. What kind of people, I ask myself, would mock a dying man? Who would be so base as to pour the salt of scorn upon open wounds? How low and perverted to sneer at one who is laced with pain…

The words thrown that day were meant to wound. And there is nothing more painful than words meant to hurt…

If you have suffered or are suffering because of someone else’s words, you’ll be glad to know that there is a balm for this laceration. Meditate on these words from 1 Peter 2:23 (NIV):

“When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.”

Did you see what Jesus did not do? He did not retaliate. He did not bite back. He did not say, “I’ll get you!” “Come on up here and say that to my face!” “Just wait until after the resurrection, buddy!” No, these statements were not found on Christ’s lips.

Did you see what Jesus did do? He “entrusted himself to him who judges justly.” Or said more simply, he left the judging to God. He did not take on the task of seeking revenge. He demanded no apology. He hired no bounty hunters and sent out no posse. He, to the astounding contrary, spoke on their defense. “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”? (Luke 23:34 NIV)…

“they don’t know what they are doing.”

And when you think about it, they didn’t. They hadn’t the faintest idea what they were doing. They were a stir-crazy mob, mad at something they couldn’t see so they took it out on, of all people, God. But they didn’t know what they were doing.

Yes, the dialogue that Friday morning was bitter. The verbal stones were meant to sting. How Jesus, with a body wracked with pain, eyes blinded by his own blood, and lungs yearning for air, could speak on behalf of some heartless thugs is beyond my comprehension. Never, never have I seen such love. If ever a person deserved a shot at revenge, Jesus did. But he didn’t take it. Instead he died for them. How could he do it? I don’t know. But I do know that all of a sudden my wounds seem very painless. My grudges and hard feelings are suddenly childish.

Sometimes I wonder if we don’t see Christ’s love as much in the people he tolerated as in the pain he endured.

Amazing Grace.

NEW Gift Book! This story from:
This is Love – The Extraordinary Story of Jesus
Copyright (Thomas Nelson, 2011) Max Lucado

Kids and Cliches

 I teach fourth grade in Ventura County, California. As a fun assignment, I gave the students the beginning of a list of famous sayings and asked them to provide original endings for each one. Here are some examples of what my students submitted.

•  The grass is always greener when you leave the sprinkler on.
•  A rolling stone plays the guitar.
•  The grass is always greener when you remember to water it.
•  A bird in the hand is a real mess.
•  No news is no newspaper.
•  It’s better to light one candle than to waste electricity.
•  It’s always darkest just before I open my eyes.
•  You have nothing to fear but homework.
•  If you can’t stand the heat, don’t start the fireplace.
•  If you can’t stand the heat, go swimming.
•  Never put off ‘til tomorrow what you should have done yesterday.
•  A penny saved is nothing in the real world.
•  The squeaking wheel gets annoying.
•  We have nothing to fear but our principal.
•  To err is human. To eat a muskrat is not.
•  I think, therefore I get a headache.
•  Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry, and someone yells, “Shut up!”
•  Better to light a candle than to light an explosive.
•  It’s always darkest before 9:30 p.m.
•  Early to bed and early to rise is first in the bathroom.
•  A journey of a thousand miles begins with a blister.
•  There is nothing new under the bed.
•  The grass is always greener when you put manure on it.
•  Don’t count your chickens – it takes too long.

 Received from The Good, Clean Funny List (www.gcfl.net)

–

Rate this funny at

http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20110318

Simon from Cyrene Carries Jesus’ Cross

by Max Lucado

“A man named Simon from Cyrene, the father of Alexander and Rufus, was coming from the fields to the city. The soldiers forced Simon to carry the cross for Jesus”
(Mark 15:21)

Simon grumbles beneath his breath. His patience is as scarce as space on the Jerusalem streets. He’d hoped for a peaceful Passover. The city is anything but quiet. Simon prefers his open fields. And now, to top it off, the Roman guards are clearing the path for some who-knows-which-dignitary who’ll march his soldiers and strut his stallion past the people.

“There he is!”

Simon’s head and dozens of others turn. In an instant they know. This is no dignitary.

“It’s a crucifixion,” he hears someone whisper. Four soldiers. One criminal. Four spears. One cross. The inside corner of the cross saddles the convict’s shoulders. Its base drags in the dirt. Its top teeters in the air. The condemned man steadies the cross the best he can, but stumbles beneath its weight. He pushes himself to his feet and lurches forward before falling again. Simon can’t see the man’s face, only a head wreathed with thorny branches.

The sour-faced centurion grows more agitated with each diminishing step. He curses the criminal and the crowd.

“Hurry up!”

“Little hope of that,” Simon says to himself.

The cross-bearer stops in front of Simon and heaves for air. Simon winces at what he sees. The beam rubbing against an already raw back. Rivulets of crimson streaking the man’s face. His mouth hangs open, both out of pain and out of breath.

“His name is Jesus,” someone speaks softly.

“Move on!” commands the executioner.

But Jesus can’t. His body leans and feet try, but he can’t move. The beam begins to sway. Jesus tries to steady it, but can’t. Like a just-cut tree, the cross begins to topple toward the crowd. Everyone steps back, except the farmer. Simon instinctively extends his strong hands and catches the cross.

Jesus falls face-first in the dirt and stays there. Simon pushes the cross back on its side. The centurion looks at the exhausted Christ and the bulky bystander and needs only an instant to make the decision. He presses the flat of his spear on Simon’s shoulders.

“You! Take the cross!”
Simon dares to object, “Sir, I don’t even know the man!”

“I don’t care. Take up the cross.”

Simon growls, balances the timber against his shoulder, and steps out of the crowd onto the street, out of anonymity into history, and becomes the first in a line of millions who will take up the cross and follow Christ.

He did literally what God calls us to do figuratively: take up the cross and follow Jesus. “If any of you want to be my followers, you must forget about yourself. You must take up your cross each day and follow me” (Luke. 9:23 CEV).

NEW Gift Book! This story from:
This is Love – The Extraordinary Story of Jesus
Copyright (Thomas Nelson, 2011) Max Lucado